She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
