Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
