so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
