Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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