is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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