My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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