He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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