areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
