idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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