Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
