I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
