She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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