i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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