And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
