Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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