Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
