just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
