If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
