I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
time to smoke my breakfast
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
