she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
