I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My penis needs a shock collar
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
