the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
