I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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