if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
