everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
