he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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