Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
