I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
