Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
