I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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