I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
