I want to have your abortion
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Randomize
