Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize