we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
