We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
