Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just high enough for therapy.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
