i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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