i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
