hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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