my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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