I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize