SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
