to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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