All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
