Banned from zoo.
Again?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
