Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
