**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
