Jerry, you need to find god
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
