So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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