Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
