Cold hands, warm shart.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize