Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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