life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
