Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
