i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
