Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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