I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
