it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
