And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize