no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
