So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
