I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
