I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
