I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
