when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
