Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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