PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
