I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
