you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
