Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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