i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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