i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
