She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
