I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
